January 2012
111 posts
Coke Talk: Coke Talk Predictions for 2012 →
coketalk:
• Hugh Hefner will renew his contract with Satan.
• A cast member from Jersey Shore will be permanently disfigured during cosmetic surgery. No one will notice.
• The iPad 3 with Siri will be released in March. Siri will learn at a geometric rate, becoming self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time,…
December 2011
49 posts
“When class let out it was like a mud slide.”
– Erich
1 tag
I lie in an early bed thinking late thoughts
Waiting for the black to replace my blue
I do not struggle in your web because it was my aim to get caught
But daddy longlegs, I feel that I’m finally growing weary
Of waiting to be consumed by you
Drunk Christmas Fun Fact #5
The song “All I Want for Christmas is You” makes me cry.
My great aunt is a distant cousin of Al Capone.
The things you learn after a few bloody marrys.
Drinking bloody marrys with grandma.
Merry Christnas Eve y’all!
Eating a mcdonalds holiday pie dipped in buffalo...
sharkblog asked: WHAT IF YOU HAD A TWITTER
1 tag
Got an A on the final I wrote in about 2 hours.
I win sometimes.
“I’m okay with average, I’m just not okay with five inches of...”
“You and your stupid mother and her stupid frothing loins!”
sukaira:
samanthahgiel replied to your post: hungover skylar realizes the silliness of the things he said online last night
Hey! Your keys where in my bag this morning. I left them on the table at kellars.
Ahaha Thanks so much! Thats really funny actually. I’ll stop by his place to pick them up! It was lovely meeting you!
This is hilarious, mostly because of “It was lovely meeting...
1 tag
Rage
I’m revising my final paper for one of my majors and I don’t fucking understand what the fuck my professor wants me to change. During my last meeting we talked about what I needed to change, and I told her I didn’t really get what she wanted and she didn’t really clarify it. I figured once I reread the paper and looked at her written comments I’d get it. But no, now...
“Don’t put it in the mustard you idiot! Have you learned nothing?!?”
“All the signs were there! How did I miss them?!?”
– My best friend upon realizing she dated a hipster
All I really want right now is to be on a road trip with a certain someone.
Sploosh.
Fun fact
It’s a bad idea to drink beer a professor offers when you are already shit canned.
At a bar with my professor whose talking about...
1 tag
Eating instant mashed potatoes, that I didn't even...
And I honestly don’t really care.
I seriously cannot put on a pair of pants
Without reaching into the pocket and pulling out a handfull of sawdust/wood shavings. Today’s flavor is walnut.
1 tag
Bratty Brenda, Mean Melissa, Why you gotta be so mean? Jealous Jody, Catty Cathy, We don’t want you on our team! Too Cool Carol, Sour Sarah, Why you gotta be so snotty? Hateful Heather, Bully Brittney, We don’t want you at our party!
“So far I’ve learned how to please my man…50,000 ways! Blow jobs are...”
– Very Mary Kate
sukaira asked: Take your nap, bitch.
1 tag
Pros and Cons of consuming an energy drink to stay...
Pros:
My professor doesn’t hate me
Art from the 80’s is somehow even more entertaining when you have excess energy
Cons:
I am very unnecessarily awake when I should be taking a nap to prevent myself from passing the fuck out during my night class
Being tempted to go to the studio to utilize this energy to be productive and shit, but also being too afraid that I’ll crash and...
